Steph's Side: Man-Cation is No More

Its not what you think, though...

So, this past week, my man-cation status was challenged by the people that are closest to me. And I'm not gonna lie, it really hurt my feelings. But I'll get into that later. Their comments go as follows:

Comment 1: I think that lowkey, you're only doing this whole man-cation thing because you don't have anyone right now. So you use your man-cation as a cover up so that you don't feel bad when you don't have anyone.


Comment 2: I think that you think its just easier than trying to put yourself out there.

Comment 3: I feel like this is bad for you because I think that you don't know how to take social ques with guys...

Comment 4: I think this is purely psychological.

Comment 5: You don't really take this too seriously, do you?

Comment 6: You take a mancation when you're talking to someone, or with someone. You're not with nobody, so...

And so on and so forth.

Let me work this out. The people that are close to me, and are supposed to know me well enough...are saying that they basically think that I am full of shit and that my man-cation is a manifestation of some kind of psychological disorder that is caused by my lack of a male romantic protagonist in the love story part of my life and is there to cover up some deeply rooted desperation for love? Did I get it all? Oh, and that even if there were a male protagonist in my life, I would be so socially awkward that I wouldn't even know what to do with him, so I also use my man-cation so that I can avoid situations like these?

Whaaaaaaaa?????

I am so friggin pissed. And hurt. And a little sad. Because all the while, I felt that I had fully explained the reason for my man-cation. And what I was abstaining from in my mancation. I felt that I had the support of my friends and that of all the weirdos and strangers on the internet, they would be the only people that would understand. But I guess not.

I feel weird. I don't even know how to describe how I feel. I feel like maybe if the closest people to me think this, I wonder what the world thinks of me making a post every two weeks or so about my alleged man-cation. Am I a joke? A laughingstock? Am I taken seriously? Are my emotions not regarded as something that is important enough for people to relate to?

Idk. All I know is who I am. My flaws and my struggles, and how everyday I constantly strive to make myself a better person. And the man-cation, as I have stated before served to take the male aspect out of the equation so that I can see me again. Maybe guys weren't clamoring at my door step. Maybe they still aren't. Maybe this is a stupid idea. Maybe, in the long run, it will be most beneficial to me. I don't know the future, I only know my past and what happens to me presently, and I know that taking the focus off of guys has made me work a little bit better in other aspects of my life. For me, it was that big of a distraction. And for people to comment in a way which I take as negatively, especially my friends...I think that sucks.

But the man-cation goes on. But now I'm not calling it a man-cation. I'm calling it a me-cation. Because I'm resetting the focus back to me. Maybe that makes a little more sense. If not, screw you and bite me, @#$!&.

My me-cation is all about me being me. Me finding out who I am in my adult form, me experiencing life to the fullest, me growing up and maturing everyday. Me just having a good time. Me exploring the option of dating in very small and possibly controlled portions. And not giving several flying, soaring, jumping and time traveling &%$@s what people think. I think I prefer my me-cation. Summer, summer...here I come.

Love && Laughs,
Steph