Katy's Korner: Mixed emotions about your man

Recently one of my best friends called it quits with her lover boy. *fireworks noises went off in my head because we can both be single this summer together ...horrible maybe....true? very* I loved the guy for her and that is hard to do because she is like my little sister so impressing me is not easy.
 However, when she told me reasons as to why they didn't work out I had a change of heart. The break they are having sounds good for them. But my question/ topic of discussion is about us protective friends. Where do you draw the line of hating the man that your bestie is date simply because he made her cry and liking him for the sake of your bestie?


I have found myself in this position for many of my friendships. They guy or girl breaks up or does something horrible to my friend, I end up feeling horrible for my friend, then they get back together..and where does this leave me you might ask?...emotionally distaught. Out load i might say " Oh girl that's great!" or "AW HUN I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU" but in my mind I might be thinking "WHAT?! Just last night we were bashing him about how he ain't got a job, no car, no house, and 4 baby mamas?!?! what happened?!?!"..OK baby mamas might be a stretch but you get what I am saying.

But I have recently realized that saying to much after a break up maybe the worst thing that a good friend could do. Yeah he hates the trick today but tomorrow she maybe the best thing in his life.  Sometimes as friends we need to do  and say what is best for our friend. I think this is a hard skill to grasp because we are trained to think that hurt and pain is bad..and that we have to go into protection mode right away when the person hurts your friend.

Your friends may run to you for advice but be wise and cautious of what you say. I know for me personally I took and take a lot of things to heart. For example, after I broke up with one of my ex's I listened to everyone but myself and did everything that everyone was telling me to do except what 1) God was telling me to do and 2) what my heart was telling me to do. So to all you ride or die friends out there... before you reach for that armour to go to war for your friend think about saying this "How do you really feel about this situation?" Ask questions that really well delve into the source of the problem instead of "girl keep it moving". This way your emotions don't become your friends.
That's all for now good luck soldiers!
-KT