They always say you'll know when you find the one because it'll feel right...BULL SHIT! let me tell ya'll, I've been in not too many relationships but enough to know that this saying is false. When you meet a guy and you "think" you like him, duh your gonna think he's the one. But then he does you wrong, so you end it and another guy comes along with a whole new demeanor...you start to think he's the one, only to find out he's not. So then a new guy comes after that and buys you nice things, take you out to nice places treating you like a queen, but in return he wants them draws...smh It's a freaking cycle that we ladies put ourselves in..and seriously it's not fair. I mean, come on, when is ever gonna end?
I have to admit I'm a victim of the cycle...and I absolutely hate it! I too thought my first was the one, but he put me through so much it was unbearable. I was so young and didn't know how relationships really worked, so I went along with his foolishness, like a damn fool! All his lies and cheating...I was so stupid...lol But after getting a brain, I broke it off because I didn't want to be that dumb girl everyone laughed anymore..and if you don't believe that I broke it off, you should ask my best friend because he's the one that gave my at the time boyfriend the message lol...I bet ya'll like huh?? but yea, I sent that shit through a text message to my best friend to forward to him because I was so disgusted with that lil ass boy! I know, I know coward move but I did what I had to do.. He couldn't tell me to my face that he was cheating so I didn't say it to his...But anyways, After being single for like 3 months I met another guy, and he seemed perfect! (Mind you me my ex dated for 2 years! So it may seem like this new guy is a rebound lol) You know how them "perfect boys" are....a whole lot of trouble! I went through about 4 "perfect guys" but none of them were what I wanted or even needed.
I was a mess..just going through that cycle like a damn fool! I was tired of getting lames, I wanted a guy with some substance..and I was starting to think that would never happen.
UNTIL...
I met this guy last summer! He was such a gentleman. He said all the right things and it was kinda scary..I didn't quite think he was the one, but after talking to him for a couple hours I started to genuinely like him as friend and maybe even more. After that night we never saw each other again in person, but we always managed to keep in touch by exchanging phone numbers. It's kinda weird to have grasped genuine feelings for someone in just one night and then never see them again. Its really hard to move forward because I'm always thinking what if...Idk, it's kinda crazy how a girl can develop so many feelings, but with a guy you may never know. Thats how it is for me...Me and this boy tell each other every time we talk that we like each other or something but never really react on it. I hate it so much because it gets me so excited but then brings me down because his actions are total opposite... ugh, its so annoying..
My friends seem to think I'm wasting my time with this dude because they think he's putting me right back in that "cycle". I really don't know what to think because yes, it may seem that way but it's just something about him. I've never felt a connection with a guy in just one night...and to feel that with him must mean something, right?!?!?
I swear, sometimes I think he's the one..but then other days I just wanna forget him completely.. Idk if you're suppose to feel this way but maybe you are...maybe that's how "the one" is suppose to make you feel. First your totally head over heels then you're just plain annoyed. Maybe love is a cycle, a cycle of emotions. I don't really know, all I know is I wanna meet my Mr. Right! It's taking a little too long! When will I ever find the one....
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